Gail Boone: Coaching with Horses: Connect to Horse - Connect to You
Coaching with horses or equine facilitated coaching. "What's that? I've never heard of it before." "How does that work?" "Horses … you coach with horses?" "Is this about teaching me how to ride?"
These are just a few of the questions people ask when they hear about coaching with horses. I partner with my horses to create a unique experiential growth opportunity. The goal is to help clients dig deep to understand themselves and the impact they have on others, to learn to live in the present, and address some of their barriers to moving forward in areas that matter to them.
Partnering with a horse to discover something meaningful about the way forward, is tough to put into words. Many clients have been amazed, shocked and humbled as they connect with these magnificent creatures. Horses live in the moment. Their survival depends on it, as they are highly-attuned to the energy and every nuance of their environment. They sense more about us as we approach and work with them than we might know ourselves. They can do that because they pay attention to our heart rate, breathing, posture, and other non -verbal cues. They sense our inner self and whether that aligns with how we think we present to the world. Because they respond to what they sense, they effectively hold a mirror for us to discover what's real and in the moment, informing choices about the way forward.
Consider this: I worked with a client having difficulty with a family member not respecting boundaries she tried to establish. That person behaved as if the boundary did not exist. When the client attempted to renegotiate, the other would ignore or make light of it. To keep the peace and preserve the relationship, the client let it go. Then she met Oliver.
Oliver is a big, 16-year-old Thoroughbred with some Arabian and Quarter Horse genes. He pushes boundaries. He began crowding and invading her space, as soon as the client started her work with him. Not so as to cause a problem - just enough though, that she chose to step out of his space.
Now in any situation involving a human and a horse, the one that can make the other move has the power. So when Oliver was causing the client to move, he was setting the boundary. He was pushing her to where he wanted her to be. His terms.
My job is to coach the client in the moment, so that the relationship's dynamic becomes apparent. The dynamic with the horse serves as a metaphor for what's happening in other aspects of the client's life. Once the client became aware of her pattern of deferring to Oliver, she could draw a parallel to her relationship with the family member. Then the real work began.
Coaching was about helping her discover and use her energy, emotional intelligence and learn tools to help her set a boundary with Oliver so they could work together. She then stood in her softness and strength and asked him to move a short distance away. When he turned to face the client, he waited for her to invite him back. She did, and they were able to enjoy relating without invading each other's space.
The client discovered a lot about her ability to work with boundaries and uncovered an assumption about the family relationship : the thought that setting and sticking to a boundary would be damaging. Oliver helped her see that clear communication, knowing her energy, and being grounded are key to boundary setting with others. That discovery created awareness about what might be possible in relationship with the family member. She saw that setting a respectful boundary would do more to preserve relationship than constantly deferring to and resenting the other person.
Horses have a greater level of awareness of what's happening in the present than we do. They read energy, gauge awareness, and understand intentions. Coaching with horses allows for what’s present in the moment to unfold. The work provides opportunities to move forward a rich and meaningful way.
One can:
Learn to understand the wisdom of our whole body, and not just that of our thinking brain;
Tap into rich insights available through emotions and develop emotional intelligence;
Learn to live our authentic selves; and
Align with what is real rather than conditioned.
Horses are quintessential teachers.
If you are interested in learning more about how coaching with horses can help you transition to the next stage of your life's journey, then please reach out at:
Gail Boone CEC, PCC, EFCL and Mentor Coach
gailboone@ns.sympatico.ca
902-497-8650
nextstageefc.com